Weapons-Grade Stupid

Posted on 7 May 2013 by



The Horror! The Horror! Oh, The Humanity!

Just a collection of stories from the last month or so related to zero-tolerance and weaponry in schools.

We have enough problems with real guns to allow this to be taken so seriously.

So, presented for your dining and dancing pleasure, ladies and gentlemen, with limited comment.

He’s Got A Gun  … Where? I … I can’t quite make it out…
A Massachusetts kindergartener has been given detention and could be suspended from the bus after bringing a Lego-sized gun to school last week. WGGB in Springfield reported that the incident happened on an Old Mill Pond Elementary School bus in Palmer last week. A 6-year-old had the toy gun, which is slightly larger than a quarter, on the bus and it was seen by another student, who alerted the bus driver. (- Emphasis emphatically added. Let’s hear it for the bus driver, too, eh?)

Pew! Pew!
Two Suffolk second graders have been suspended for making shooting noises while pointing pencils at each other. (Charged with weapon on campus). Update: “A pencil is a weapon when it is pointed at someone in a threatening way and gun noises are made,” said Bethanne Bradshaw, a spokesperson for Suffolk Public Schools. “Some children would consider it threatening, who are scared about shootings in schools or shootings in the community,” said Bradshaw. “Kids don’t think about ‘Cowboys and Indians’ anymore, they think about drive-by shootings and murders and everything they see on television news every day.” For more information on Ms Bradshaw, see, e.g., here.

Parent Mandie Watkins said Blair principal Valerie Lara-Black called her Friday afternoon to inform her that her son, Alex, had been suspended for throwing an imaginary grenade during recess.(–His gesture was aggressive, in weapony way)

Pop Pop, Dis Dis
This week Kiera Wilmot went to school and mixed some household chemicals in a tiny eight-ounce water bottle. It looked like a simple chemistry project, but then the top popped off when a small explosion occurred. She was expelled. (–Some newspapers have referred to Kiera as an ‘honor student’ – seems to me that girls into chem are not, you know, to be discouraged from making experiments or mistakes.)

Sometimes A Box-Cutter Is Just A Box-Cutter
A second-grade teacher was suspended for bringing garden-variety tools into class, and now he’s taking his case from the schoolroom to the courtroom. Bartlett led a group of second graders through a curriculum-mandated “tool discussion” that went over the basics of elementary implements. To assist, Bartlett brought several “garden-variety tools,” including a box cutter, a 2.25″ pocketknife, wrenches, screwdrivers and pliers. Bartlett was charged with possessing a weapon, negligently supervising children, inattention to duty and violating school rules.

Your Shirt … It Frightens Me
When 8th grade Jared Marcum got dressed for school on Thursday he says he had no idea that his pro-Second Amendment shirt would initiate what he calls a fight over his First Amendment rights. It was the image of a gun printed on Jared’s t-shirt that sparked a dispute between a Logan Middle School teacher and Jared, that ended with Jared suspended, arrested and facing two charges, obstruction and disturbing the education process, on his otherwise spotless record. UPDATE: Charges were dismissed, 70 days after the stupid.

No Pictures…Please!
A Warren Central Junior High School student was suspended for showing a picture of a gun on his cellphone to another student Thursday, a school spokeswoman said.(–This is a gateway photograph – next thing you know, he’ll be showing pictures of grenade launchers)

Braden Bandermann of Cupertino, California – a fifth grade student at Garden Gate Elementary School – was suspended as well as threatened with expulsion from school because he brought a small-sized Swiss Army knife with him when he attended a camping trip with a science-study focus.

No Talking, Either!
A Commack father is pursuing legal action after his pistol license was suspended when his 10-year-old son allegedly talked about using a water gun on classmates who had picked on his friends in school.(–Trying to find the words to describe just how wrong this is on so many levels.)

Well, helooooo, Kitty!
A kindergartner at the Mount Carmel Area Elementary School is being suspended for making a “terrorist threat.” What was she going to do it with? A Hello Kitty bubble gun. Her parents are suing the school to clear the suspension from the girl’s record because it is preventing her from transferring to another school and will prevent her from other opportunities.

Airsoft Guns and Bongs Don’t Mix
An Erwin High School student is facing charges after police say he was found with an airsoft pistol on the campus. The 17-year-old boy was charged Tuesday with possessing a weapon on educational property and possession of drug paraphernalia, according to warrants at the Buncombe County magistrate’s office. Buncombe sheriff’s officers made the arrest.

Food is a Primal Thing, Yo.
A 7-year-old boy at Park Elementary School in Anne Arundel County recently was disciplined after he reportedly made his food look like a gun, according to a teacher.Glen Burnie Patch reported about the incident in March, quoting Assistant Principal Myrna Phillips’ letter to parents that said the student “used food to make inappropriate gestures that disrupted the class.” (–Say, Myrna…What are you doing Saturday night? Because you sound like a real peach.)

Extra Credit
Ramsgate girl’s hopscotch grid ‘sparked Kent Police warning‘: Police told a girl of 10 that drawing a chalk hopscotch grid on the pavement outside her house was criminal damage. Bob Allen, from Ramsgate, said the officers frightened his daughter, Lily-May Allen, and has lodged a complaint with Kent Police, who are trying to trace them. He said: “I’m so infuriated that they didn’t come and knock on the door and ask to see me or her mum. (Hat Tip to @CATS_Chris) 

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Posted in: Education